The Lovely Trees

Last weekend, I drove from my home in Williamsport, Pennsylvania to visit my mom in Ellwood City. Williamsport is in the middle of the state…. toward the north. Ellwood City is about an hour from the Ohio border so the trip involves driving across a big chunk of Pennsylvania on Interstate 80.

Interstate 80 is bordered by mountains almost the whole length of the drive. The trip is scenic in any season, sometimes breathtakingly so. Usually  my attention is honed in on  driving defensively….checking my mirrors, keeping an eye on the trucks and the hot shots trying to drive 20 or 30 mph over the speed limit. But on this trip, my eyes were repeatedly drawn to the hillsides.

They were varying, blended shades of a dark, rusty, tannish, blackish brown. They reminded me of the color of sienna, umber and burnt umber crayons; drab colors that made a  perfect background for the few trees whose leaves are still almost shockingly vivid and aglow. Bright, bright yellows; the crayon  you might pick to draw the yolk of an egg. Almost illuminated. Glowing...shimmery.  And the RED ones.  Capital letter red. Just the most breathtaking shades of red. I shook my head and exclaimed  “wow”a time or two, amazed at the splendor. And really….the colors could only be described with words like splendor.

It was raining a lot of the way but even the dark mistiness served as a contrast to those iridescent trees.  

There is a message there someone. Some spiritual implication.  Keith has always been fond of saying that things in the natural are reflections of profound spiritual truths. As above, so below. I can’t quite put my finger on it...but something is there hiding. It’s nagging at me like a name I can’t remember, the words to a song, a memory that is almost, but not quite clear.

Some things that come to mind….

The quote from Ann Voskamp, a blogger/author I've been reading lately. In one post she said she told her husband, the Farmer

…..that it was brave, the way the trees made dying look glorious.

And the controversy in the news and Christian circles recently about the young woman with incurable, terminal, late stage brain cancer. She chose to take her own life before the ravages of the disease plunged her into a real living hell. Some folks say she is brave. Other folks say she is a coward.

I’m inclined to say that it’s easy to take the high road when it’s not your path to walk.

And then another thought that is a game changer, a different perspective on this process we witness every fall as we sigh and lament that “winter is just around the corner.” Leaves do not just fall from the trees. The trees actively shed them.

Apparently, when the days start getting shorter and colder, trees start to seal off the place where leaf stem meets tree branch with a row of cells called "abscission" cells. The tree could not survive the winter with leaves attached because of moisture loss and such so the leaves have to go.

So really, it is the leaf that dies….not the tree. Come spring, the tree is good to go and sprouts new leaves. The leaf that fell in the fall is gone. Hmmmmmm….

If the natural hints at the spiritual, what do the trees and their colorful, dying leaves tell us?

We have one of those trees with tenacious leaves that hang on and on (and on) in our front yard. It is an ornamental pear tree that we planted when it was about the same height as I am now.  They are slow growers but  it is probably 20 feet tall….and a lovely, sturdy (yet elegant) tree. Our neighbor has a much bigger one in her front yard. They seem to be in sync and their leaves are still there late into the fall.

Our pear trees are still all green with only the tips of a few leaves showing some reddish tinges at the edges. Keith grumbled the other day that he will be raking leaves in mid November.  

The world is tired, the year is old,The faded leaves are glad to die...~Sara Teasdale, "November"

Not the leaves on our pear trees..... 

Statistics on extreme poverty from atop my soapbox…..

I am not really an optimist…no big surprise to the people nearest and dearest to me.  I try to be.  I want to be.  Alas….not. Optimism is counter intuitive to me.  So this weekend….on the ride home from visiting my mom, I was challenged by a few quotes I read in a blog post on the Rebel God website.  (I was able to read on this trip because Keith came along.  It was nice having his company….and he drove!!!  Leaving me hands free to play with my new IPad on the trip there and back!!!)

The quotes…..

Consider these statistics cited by Dr. Scott Todd from Live58:

"We used to say that 40,000 children die each day from preventable causes. In the 1990s, that number dropped to 33,000 per day. By 2008, it dropped again to 24,000. Now it is down to 21,000. That means that in a generation we cut that number in half.

1.4 billion people live in extreme poverty today. That's a staggering amount, but let's put those numbers in perspective: In 1981 52% of the world lived in extreme poverty. Today it's 26%. Again, that means we have cut the number in half, and we did it in one generation."

and

As Scott Todd explains, there are many reasons for this unprecedented progress,

"Over 600 million people gained access to safe drinking water since 1990. This, along with an increased awareness of the nutrition in breast milk and the use of oral rehydration therapy, explain why water-borne diseases are no longer the leading cause of death for children under five. We are simply executing the practical strategies that work.
Vaccinations are another example of a practical, life-saving strategy. 733,000 children died of measles in 2000; but, that number dropped by 2008 to 164,000–a 78% reduction in only eight years. Simply using the vaccines that we’ve had for decades is saving hundreds of thousands of children every year."

Wow…and there are people who actually think we can end extreme poverty in our generation.  And there are lots of initiatives and programs and individuals working toward that goal. 

Another thing that struck me in the quote above was the dramatic drop in deaths due to measles… attributed to the vaccines we have readily available in this country. 

A soap box issue of mine…..those folks who refuse to vaccinate their children without a really good medical reason.  It’s only because of people like me….who chose to vaccinate our children in spite of the minimal risk….that they even have that option. If measles and diphtheria….pertussis…polio…. and the other diseases kids are routinely vaccinated against were rampant here in the States, they would not have that luxury.  Families like mine helped eradicate those diseases.  Families like theirs threaten to bring them back to life.

Many look on vaccinations as a plague…an evil forced upon the unsuspecting public by the big pharmaceutical companies.  Most of those 733,000 kids who died in 2000 didn’t have the option.  I choose to look upon the vaccines we have available as a privilege rather than an arbitrary harm forced on our kids.  And yes, I did the research before I vaccinated Matthew, my firstborn….with great trepidation and concern. I know there are risks.  I signed the consent forms that listed them in several pages of small print detail.  There ARE risks, I know that….but perhaps, in addition to protecting my own children from diseases that are, indeed, making a comeback in this country, I did it for the greater good? 

I digressed from the initial point of this post….but will leave it as is…hoping that I have not offended anyone who reads here.  This is one of those hot button topics.  At least for me it is.  Comments are, of course, welcome.

A Liebster Blog….!

This is very cool…very cool indeed.  Amy at Monastic Ponderings picked my blog as one of her five picks for the Liebster Blog Award.

           

Thanks so much, Amy.  You made my day!!!

And a little about the award….

Award's Origins
While the Liebster Blog Award is widely accepted as coming from Germany, its actual origin has been lost in the blogosphere's digital fog. (Liebster [noun], is a german word meaning beloved, dear, dearest, or love.) What is clear, it has become a chain letter of sorts, that "shows the unity, interconnection and supportive nature of the blogging world."

Liebster Blog Award Rules

It appears that the award's rules have been slowly evolving over time, but they have fundamentally remained the same. Here are the rules as passed on to me:

In accepting this award, the recipient agrees to:

1. Show your thanks to the blogger who gave you the award by linking back to them.
2. Reveal your top 5 picks for the award and let them know by leaving a comment on their blog.
3. Post the award on your blog.
4. Bask in the love from the most supportive people on the blogsphere – other bloggers.
5. And, best of all – have fun and spread the karma.

My Five Picks

I’m going to have to think about that for a bit…stay tuned…..

It’s all a matter of perspective :)

And another snippet from Craig Harper’s motivational blog…a blog I mentioned a while back. He has a great sense of humor…although in some of his writings he is somewhat on the….ah….course side. Quote follows….

A few years back, I met with a guy who wanted my help to lose some weight; not an altogether uncommon request in my world. Without giving you specific details, it’s fair to say that he was morbidly obese. That is, huge. Somewhere in the vicinity of double his ideal bodyweight.

Or, half his ideal height.

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Like so many other things, it's all a matter of perspective....

You can find this wiener dog magnet at Cafe Press

Bucket List? Phucket List?

I came upon a post this morning…long after I should have been in (and back out of) the shower…on The Naked Pastor. It was buried within the feeds from the (way too) many blogs that live in my google reader account. 

The blog is called…The Naked Pastor..and is owned and operated by David Hayward.  The post was called The Phucket List.  Yep…a play on words…a sort of round about phonetic spelling…enabling him to say a word without really saying it…although we know exactly the word he is sort of saying.  Very clever.

The post was inspired by the movie, Bucket List.  We all have a Bucket List….things we want to do before we die…and I suspect we all have a Phucket List too…or we should.  In the bucket…stuff that, upon first glance, seems totally pertinent and important but upon further pondering and evaluation actually isn’t…and so it should go live in the Phucket Bucket. 

Check out the post.  Check out the blog.  He’s also an artist/cartoonist and his cartoons are sure to bring a wry smile to your face.  And give some thought today to what’s in your phucket bucket….what it should be filled with….and what it shouldn’t. 

Christ of the Abyss...

This morning, via a message board for bloggers called Authority Blogger, I happened upon a blog....Adam Snider - Writer For Hire.  The author is based in Edmonton, posts on Authority Blogger and has written a Christmas post entitled, Taking Christ Out of Christmas, from the perspective of someone who is not Christian...yet not at all militant about it.  Check it out.

The picture he used to illustrate his post is rather...ahhh....eery?  At first glance, I thought it was a mountain like structure somewhere. A religious Mount Rushmore of sorts.....picture taken from afar...and that the bits of green were actually patches of wild brush.  When I investigated the photo, it turns out that it is actually a submerged statue of Jesus called Christ of the Abyss.  As I look at it a bit more closely I can see that it is obviously not a mountain sculpture. Duh.  The thought that this is submerged is really kind of eery...or is it?  Any thoughts? 

And giving credit where credit is due, this photo was taken by vgm8383 and resides on Flickr.

There are three well known casts of this statue in various underwater places plus other casts in lesser known locations above and below the waterline.  There is  more info on the statue\...where else...Wikipedia.   

 

And below another pic from the State Library and Archives of Florida

 

Artwork of the Last Supper (and other basically unrelated web travels and life tales....)

"But I digress" would be a good title for this post.  First of all, in the original post, the introduction strayed from the main topic, meandereing here and there before getting to the point.  In other words, making "a short story long."  

And now I am going to further digress by mentioning that we are in downtown San Antonio..at a Red Roof Inn.  We spent the day here yesterday (first time for me) checking out the Alamo, the Riverwalk (wow...that is so nice) and taking the trolleys here and there to get an overview of the city.  Besides that...everyone was so friendly.  Several times, when we were looking a bit disoriented, the "guides" who wander around downtown offered their help without us even asking.  Several times, passersby overheard our conversations and extended their knowledge of the city.  So friendly!! I was impressed!! 

Today we are hoping to meet up with several people we know from our online life.  And so....since Keith wants to get on with the day, I am going to post something I have in the queue...having nothing to do with the Christmind etc. which is what I have been pondering and musing about lately....

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It started out by reading a post from one of the lists about babies in hell…and the utter delight of the saints (the ones who make it to “heaven”) at the plight (and sight) of those who did not make it being tormented in hell. This includes relatives…mother, father, children. After all they deserve it….

I specifically remembered a quote by John Calvin that went something like…there will be babies a span long in hell….and another about the bliss of the saints as they watch the torture of the damned. So I googled it…and the first link took me to a well known, oft visited site called Religious Tolerance. (Great site) and I started clicking around a bit…ending up at the list of reader’s essays. One caught my eye….an essay written about a site dedicated to artwork and writings depicting a gay Jesus. I include the link…but be forwarned..there are some graphic images and links to sites with even more graphic images....some depicting Jesus in ways that kind of make me uncomfortable. 

Some of the links led to sites similar to the gay Jesus theme…some focused more on lesbians….one site had artwork of a black Jesus…and holy family and other related paintings which broadened my horizons concerning how Jesus might have looked. Very interesting site…worth a visit. But there were two sites that stood out.

The first site, which I intend to write about in my next post, was a medical anthropologist's scientific re-creation of the face of Christ. I vaguely remember this being in the news a while back, but I didn’t pay much attention to it. More about that…and my thoughts about it…in a yet to come (hopefully tomorrow) post.

The second site that captured my attention (in a good way…not in a squeamish kind of “that borders on blasphemy” way) had a picture of the Last Supper…painted from an historical perspective. How it would have really been at the last supper…with women and children there. Does is say anywhere is scripture that there were not women and children there? Scripture focuses on the disciples, of course, but perhaps the women and children were simply not mentioned? I don’t know…but something to ponder. The painting is by Bohdan Piasecki

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And I came across some other really interesting artist depictions of the Last Supper….

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

By El Greco

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

By Anthony Falbo

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

From the Rolin Kocsis studio

 

 

I don't have the artist's name for this one.  Anybody know?

These pictures enlarge my thoughts about the Last Supper...

Guilty...

When I signed onto my computer this morning, one of the first headlines I noticed on my AOL home page was about OJ Simpson's verdict. He was found guilty of kidnapping, armed robbery and ten other assorted charges, ironically THIRTEEN YEARS TO THE DAY of his acquittal of the murder of Nicole Brown and Ronald Goldman. There are all kinds of articles on the internet about his guilt but one of the most eclectic articles has to be HOW EVIDENCE AGAINST LUCIFER AND OJ HAS BEEN DISMISSED. It is written by Mike Clute of God's Last Call Ministries.

Mike Clute is a former (?) 7th Day Adventist pastor who believes the god who was responsible for the horrendous things done in the OT was satan and not the one true almighty God...the God we whose expressed image we see in Jesus. When I explored the many articles at his site a while back, there were many of his writings I agreed with but not all...and one must, I think, read with discernment and the guidance of the Holy Spirit. With the enlightenment of some of the teachings of Eckhart Tolle, I'm not sure if I would disagree with more of his beliefs or not. He is very much into end times prophecy and seems to have a dualistic point of view. God vs. Satan. I still have not formed a definitive opinion on whether or not satan is an actual being or the manifestation of the carnal mind/egoic mind/painbody. It has been awhile since I've read there but when I saw the OJ verdict, the article I've linked to came to mind.

I revisited the article this morning. He attributes OJ's innocent verdict to the same unwillingness of many people to see the truth of the evidence about God and Satan and who is responsible for what. Even though the article is slanted toward supporting his point of view spiritually, it is filled with facts from the trial and excerpts from many of the books written on the subject. It is an easy read.

As I was reading the article again this morning, a statement I probably skimmed over the first time stood out as if it had been written in bold print, size 20 font. It was a remark reportedly made by Marsha Clark at the end of the trial...after the innocent verdict. Mike Clute writes:

I really liked Clark's comments about the verdict and its aftermath. She realized "I'm still here." She wanted everyone to see that she had put herself through "hell" for the right thing. "I had to believe that suffering was part of something bigger. Justice, like the will of God, doesn't always manifest itself on the spur of the moment. It doesn't always come when you think it should. You just gotta wait it out."

Wow....

A Blessing Called Work...Part 1

I don't hate my job.  At least most days, anyway.  I am the poster girl for the cliche, "jack of all trades, master of none." My job duties encompass providing most of the secretarial support for the Maintenance Department, all the secretarial support for the Biomed Department--assorted secretarial support for many other departments under the "integrated service" umbrella.  In addition to that, I am a CSR; an internal customer service rep. 

That is my main job and it entails answering the helpline phone, routing calls and dispatching the appropriate personnel for quite a few services within the 3 hospital health system.  Need a toilet unclogged, call the helpline.  Need a patient moved?  Call the helpline.  Need a package/specimen/piece of equipment taken to another location?  Call the helpline and I will dispatch the appropriate courier.  Need a vital piece of medical equipment repaired NOW?  Call the helpline.  Need one of the automated, computerized robots called TUG to pick up the trash or linen?  Call the helpline.  Have a question, concern, complaint?  Call the helpline.  Need to book a meeting room?  Call the helpline.  Need to talk to a manager?  Well, dang...call the helpline.  (Aren't you getting it yet?) 

My phone rings constantly.  I stare into a computer screen all day, utilizing a myriad number of programs needed to log and track and send and organize all this activity.  There are 4 other CSR's that I have to stay in touch with--all in different physical locations--via phone, nextel direct connect and especially via email.  I answer to about 5 bosses.  My "real" boss (the one who does my evaluations, determines my schedule--the one who has the most say so and to whom I officially report) is not the boss I spend the most time with.  That boss is the head of the Biomedical Engineering Department.  His office adjoins mine.  I interact with him every day, all day.  I attend meetings with him (because a big part of my job is to take minutes for assorted long, wordy meetings and write reports to summarize.)  We have become friends.  He has been a source of great inspiration and encouragement during this (ongoing) Beth ordeal.  He shares with me some of the concerns he has in his life as well...and the issues that come up with two sons...one 13 and the other one about 10 or so.  I would like to publicly thank him (even though he does not read my blog...nor do I want him to) for his support and for being a great boss.  I want to thank God for depositing me in the office next to him.  It has been a blessing. 

And you know, this post has really gotten too long to write about what I started out to write about!!!  So another series is birthed!!!  More in my next post.....

That Looks Just Like An Eye!!!

I usually don't just copy and paste other people's writings in their entirety but that is what I've done with the following article from a site called God's Pharmacy. sparrow posted the link on The Father's Love Forum and I thought it was quite awe-inspiring. Another one of those ways that God lets us know things are just not set up in a coincidental way. Yes...we live in a fallen world but there are so many signposts pointing back to our creator. When we have "eyes to see" the world is filled with wonder.

God's Pharmacy - Foods that resemble the body parts they help!

GOD'S PHARMACY
A friend sent this to me. It's been said that God first separated the salt water from the fresh, made dry land, planted a garden, made animals and fish… all before making a human. He made and provided what we'd need before we were born. These are best & more powerful when eaten raw. We're such slow learners..
God left us a great clue as to what foods help what part of our body!
God's Pharmacy! Amazing!
A sliced Carrot looks like the human eye. The pupil, iris and radiating lines look just like the human eye… and YES, science now shows carrots greatly enhance blood flow to and function of the eyes.
A Tomato has four chambers and is red. The heart has four chambers and is red. All of the research shows tomatoes are loaded with lycopine and are indeed pure heart and blood food.
Grapes hang in a cluster that has the shape of the heart. Each grape looks like a blood cell and all of the research today sh ow s grape s are also profound heart and blood vitalizing food. (For more heart-healthy remedies, visit www.BloodPressureNormalized.com and www.CholesterolSecrets.com)
A Walnut looks like a little brain, a left and right hemisphere, upper cerebrums and lower cerebellums.
Even the wrinkles or folds on the nut are just like the neo-cortex. We now know walnuts help develop more than three (3) dozen neuron-transmitters for brain function.
Kidney Beans actually heal and help maintain kidney function and yes, they look exactly like the human kidneys. (For a natural kidney stone remedy, visit www.KidneyStoneNaturalTreatment.com)
Celery, Bok Choy, Rhubarb and many more look just like bones. These foods specifically target bone strength. Bones are 23% sodium and these foods are 23% sodium. If you don't have enough sodium in your diet, the body pulls it from the bones, thus making them weak. These foods replenish the skeletal needs of the body.
Avocadoes, Eggplant and Pears target the health and function of the womb and cervix of the female - they look just like these organs. Today's research shows that when a woman eats one avocado a week, it balances hormones, sheds unwanted birth weight, and prevents cervical cancers. And how profound is this? It takes exactly nine (9) months to grow an avocado from blossom to ripened fruit. There are over 14,000 photolytic chemical constituents of nutrition in each one of these foods (mo dern science has only studied and named about 141 of them)
Figs are full of seeds and hang in twos when they grow. Figs increase the mobility of male sperm and increase the numbers of Sperm as well to overcome male sterility. (For more info about male sexual health, visit www.NaturallyStiff.com)
Sweet Potatoes look like the pancreas and actually balance the glycemic
index of diabetics.
Olives assist the health and function of the ovaries
Oranges, Grapefruits, and other Citrus fruits look just like the mammary glands of the female and actually assist the health of the breasts and the movement of lymph in and out of the breasts.
Onions look like the body's cells. Today's research shows onions help clear waste materials from all of the body cells. They even produce tears which wash the epithelial layers of the eyes. A working companion, Garlic, also helps eliminate waste materials and dangerous free radicals from the body.

The Sins of the Father

So what do we do about the crappy parenting skills that have been handed down to us? Are we destined to repeat the patterns of our parents simply because we don't know any other way? That question came up in class and right about the same time it came up on EU too in a series of posts titled "another report on Jena." It was afollow up post about the Jena 6 and was a discussion about how racism is passed down. It turned into more of an overall discussion on how we learn to parent from our parents...and how we tend to emulate the way they parented us. Even if we hated the way they did it...and vowed we would never follow in their footsteps, oftentimes we find ourselves trapped in the same patterns of behavior. That is the cycle of abuse. Abusers were abused. We repeat what we know simply because we do not know any better. But many have escaped that trap and gone on to find healthier ways to parent.

On EU one poster said:
"i've had some unfair things happen in my life. i consider it the ultimate revenge, the ultimate "up yours!" to satan to do all i can to make certain that others do not experience the same unfairness."

Another poster said:

my mother was a violent, unloving, drunk, and like you, i determined i would do it differently...and sometimes it was hard. to learn to touch in love when you have not been touched in that way doesn't come naturally you have to prompt yourself every day. so many things i did/read/discussed with my kids because i "wished" someone had taken the time with me.

She went on to say:
eventually it became a part of me, this touching and loving and supportive, talking person that i really wasn't when i first had bethany put into my arms at age 22. so even if it doesn't come naturally to a person, they can purpose to change the course of that downward roll life sometimes has and stand and say, not with me it won't.

In the parenting group, the leader mentioned that she had a friend who came from a very, very dysfunctional family. She said her friend would often call her simply to ask if something she was thinking of doing...of letting her kids do or not do....was "normal." She had nothing to base "normal" on. Another women in the group mentioned that everyone in her family were heavy drinkers. ANY occasion was an occasion to drink and party. She said she had to consistently seek the Lord for his will, saying, "Lord, I know that I've been taught this is okay, but do YOU say it's okay?"

As far as my own life, my family pretty much provided an example on how NOT to do it. There was neglect akin to abuse. There was alcoholism, drug abuse, promiscuity. You name it, it was there....and in my late teens and early adult years, I repeated the pattern. Since I have had my own kids, I do things very, very differently than my parents did. My first husband and I eventually divorced, but it was nothing like the embittered, mean spirited fiasco that went on when my own parents divorced. My sister and I were the weapon of choice for my mother. It had life long repurcussions....leading, I think to the really mixed up life my sister led and a lifestyle that contributed to her death at age forty from lung cancer. It is simply by the grace of God that I have done better with my own kids.

We have weathered (and are now weathering) some pretty serious circumstances. Truly, I do not know what to do....but God is faithful and he is paving the way for me to take one step at a time...to make the next step. Once step at a time. Peering at circumstance through the lens of my growing up years, it is hard to discern the "right" thing to do when so many areas are gray and my upbringing is such a shaky base to use as a benchmark. I have had to ignore advice even though it sounded right because it did not "feel" right. I am trusting the holy spirit to lead me through the confusion....so I don't pass on those "sins of the father" to my kids.

$30,000 Bucks a Night

On my AOL Welcome Page yesterday there was an article about the Ty Warner Suite at the Four Seasons. It costs $30,000 a night to stay there. It is filled with priceless treasures...marble, rare woods from around the world, mother of pearl inlay on the living room walls, a waterfall, exorbitantly expensive accent pieces. Decadent comes to mind. As a customer service rep/secretary, $30, 000 is more than I make in a whole year. Does anyone really need to stay in a hotel room that expensive when there are perfectly good Red Roof Inns right around the corner? And who is it that can afford a room that pricey just to lay their head on a pillow for a single night? (a pillow covered, no doubt, with a pillowcase made of exquisite imported Chinese silk) Everything in the suite is so rare and priceless that guests are required to take off their shoes before they enter the suite. Special luxury booties are provided. Ahhhhhh....for $30,000 a night I think I'd like to keep my Nike's on, thank you.

This has come up as a topic of conversation between Keith and I before. Indignantly, with much self righteousness, I declare that with starving children in the world....nobody needs that much luxury. There is no reason anyone should sit at a custom made Laianne bronze table, atop French travertine floors in the breakfast nook, which is adjacent to a balcony that overlooks Central Park...where there are hungry, cold, homeless people sleeping on park benches. To which Keith might reply, "How much is too much?" Hmmmmm. How much is too much? His point is that in comparison to much of the world we are filthy rich. Do I have "too much"?

There is a ten year old shag rug on my bedroom floor, not French travertine, but it's not a dirt floor either. And the love seat I am sitting on is over ten years old, too. It came from a tent sale and cost about $150.... but it is soft and comfortable and it is not a rock or a straw mat. We drive old cars, not quite beaters, but definitely not new. And what about the three computers in our house. Granted, one is about 8 years old....but do I really need this laptop I got for Christmas? A bottom of the line Dell, yet, is that too much when so much of the world is poor and there is so much need everywhere? Do I really need a computer that I can hold on my lap on the $150 love seat?

I don't have the answers to those questions. I think about it sometimes, and wonder whether I should do more to alleviate suffering and poverty in the world. Even though my lifestyle is rather modest, am I living in far too much opulence? Where exactly does one draw the line between enough and not enough? Between enough and too much? I'm not sure. Any thoughts?

Neither is the Final Destination

I am going through my AOL favorites and importing them to firefox...one at a time...slowly, meticulously because upon a cursory google check, there is no way to do that all at once...especially when your bookmarks are a compilation of favorites all the way back to AOL 3.0 or something. Anyway, I came upon a web page with the gleanings of N. Thomas Wright, the Anglican Bishop of Durham, England.

I am not sure why I saved it...but it is amidst the peacekeeping, nonviolent atonement links I've been saving of late so I am assuming he is related to that vein of thought. I borrowed the title of one of his short writings, Neither is the Final Destination. It is a short article followed by comments....50 some odd comments.....from readers. I thought what he had to say succinctly illuminated the view that our final destination is neither heaven nor hell (although I think he might believe that one of these is a temporary destination) and that the real final destination is "THE NEW HEAVENS AND THE NEW EARTH." which to Wright means "an ultimate new creation in which heaven and earth are brought together in a great act of renewal" Oh wow...that sounds a lot better to me than the view espoused by the unbelievably successful mega series, Left Behind..or for that matter the view of most Christians who believe in the rapture. The Rapture is the ultimate "Calgon take me away!" (anybody but me remember those commercials?) Perhaps it will mean that in this great act of renewal, I might be able to right some of the wrongs I have done to the earth...like the ton of disposable diapers I sent to the landfills, the hurt I caused by careless words or selfishness, or the disparaging light I sometimes cast on the name of Christ by calling myself a Christian while behaving in a manner that was anything but.

I think perhaps Wright might believe in annihilation (although I do not know this for sure but just get that vibe from this short writing) On hell, he says "God's new world will not have in it 'a concentration camp in the midst of a beautiful landscape', as some earlier visions of 'hell' have supposed." On the second coming he says that it, "is NOT Jesus 'coming back to take us home', but Jesus coming -- or 'reappearing', as 1 John 3 and Colossians 3 put it -- to heal, judge and rescue this present creation and us with it." He doesn't think that God is interested in saving Christians FROM the world but that we "are to be his agents in bringing that salvation to the wider world." It is an interesting short read...along with the comments. The website is the Newsweek/Washington Post religious section called, "On Faith." Other short topics by N. Wright are God or god? , "A Caste System For Christians", "Pray, Study and Keep Working", "Love More, Pray More", "Golf More" and "Falwell From Afar" Check these all out HERE.

5 Teenage Girls Die in Fiery Crash

As the mom of a 17 year old who has had his license for about a year....and a 15 year old who will soon be 16 and pestering to drive, and a soon to be 14 year old, the fatal crash that took the lives of five recent graduates from a high school in Rochester, New York strikes terror to my heart. The girls were headed to a cabin in the Finger Lakes for a sleep over. There are reports now that several text messages were sent from the drivers phone seconds before the crash, leading authorities to believe it may have played a part in the accident. Five lives snuffed out in seconds. Their families and friends will grieve their loss forever. The truck driver they collided with will never be able to erase the memory of the day he saw five pretty perky cheerleaders burn to death in an SUV in a ditch beneath his truck. May God encompass all with the peace that only he can provide. Teenagers often think they are immortal...invincible...which this crash so clearly disproves. Even though my 17 year old will roll his eyes when I remind him, I'm going to do it anyway. Pay attention to the road as if your life depends on it....because it just may.

HELL: OUR FEAR AND FASCINATION

The title of last night's episode of 20/20 was HELL: OUR FEAR AND FASCINATION. I don't think it was a coincidence that it aired on Friday the 13'th. It was quite the eclectic show, including a brief interview with Marilyn Manson who said when asked if he thought he was going to hell, "I'm going to say it would probably be a more comfortable place for me because everyone I know would be there and I wouldn't really be allowed to do anything in heaven that would be any fun." This will probably show both my age and my naivete but what's up with his eyes anyway? He must surely wear some kind of special contacts. Nobody has eyes that weird.

There was a very brief interview with Miriam Van Scott, author of The Encyclopedia of Hell who thinks we are moving away from a belief in hell since there have been so many horrific humanitarian disasters that it is hard to imagine there could be anything worse.

Matthew Dove told of his near death experiences...BOTH of them. Once when he almost drowned as a child and again, decades later, when he was tired of addictions and living and wished to return to the euphoric place (heaven) he visited briefly as a child. He ended up in what he deems "hell" although, interestingly, there was no fire or torture. Perhaps a more empathetic experience than anything else, in that he distinctly felt the pain and suffering his suicide caused both in the "present" and in the future when he saw his daughter on the floor, contemplating suicide because of the pain his own suicide caused her. He woke up the next morning in his own bed with no memory of how he'd gotten there, and after that experience he radically changed his life .

There was also a segment called the Face of Evil. It dealt with many of the names and faces associated with evil (Dahmer, Charles Manson, Bundy, etc.) and a new face, the face of Ulysses Handy III. A former boy scout and altar boy who is the ultimate Bad Seed . Anyone remember that movie? He expressed no remorse whatsoever for the crime of killing three people because one of them implicated him in the theft of an expensive jacket. His sobbing mother begged the families of the victims for forgiveness but Ulysses taunted them in court telling them to "get over it."

There were also interviews with 3 people who endured hell on earth:

Sister Diane Ortiz says she was brutally raped and tortured in Guatemala 20 years ago after being mistakenly suspected of supporting rebel fighters. Ishmael Beah, a child soldier in Sierra Leone, was forced to murder his own countrymen during a brutal civil war and Elie Wiesel, a Holocaust survivor.

There was also an interview with Carlton Pearson. Most people know that Carlton was the extremely popular charismatic preacher, endorsed by Oral Roberts, who came upon the truth of UR in the scriptures. He told his congregation of thousands his new belief thinking that they would welcome his revelations. People fled in droves and left him with a congregation of several hundred. He continues to preach his message of inclusion at a rented church. His congregation is small, but growing. I have so much respect for a man who can walk away from all that fame (although he readily admits that if he had known what was coming he might have had second thoughts of sharing this message) I find my beliefs line up with his quite a bit. Even where he differs from my more conservative universalist brothers, I find his beliefs more closely coincide with mine. But I am a liberal....ever erring on the side of the path less traveled. No wonder I like Carlton so much.

That's Where I Am This Morning.....

On my couch perch….where my laptop and I spend hours. The dawn of a new day….up at shortly before 6:00. It’s the Fourth of July…..and it is cloudy and overcast, with showers predicted. Isn’t that great…showers for the first time in weeks, spoiling picnics and fireworks, and amusement park plans? Keith has not had to cut the grass in weeks. So much for the spiffy new $400 lawnmower sitting in the shed. So much for the division of chores—inside and outside. (I’m the innie, he’s the outie)

I have not clued anyone in here at this blog about the events that are transpiring right now in my life. I’ve mentioned the kids…..but there is a whole other aspect of my existence in jeopardy. Long story short…..Keith was charged with leaving the scene of an accident which, if convicted, will mean the suspension of his CDL for a year…..which will mean he loses his job. The accident was a fallen tree limb…on a street with all low lying branches which scraped and scratched at the truck as he searched for the place he was supposed to make a delivery. He did not know a branch fell. Keep in mind the size of a truck (53 foot trailer plus tractor) and that there are all kinds of blind spots (you know the “if you can’t see my mirrors, I can’t see you” warnings on trucks?) The windows were up, the air-conditioning was on and there are always the sounds of yelling since it is summer and there are kids everywhere. So he truly did not realize he had knocked down a branch (which apparently took down a wire and hit a car). But as luck would have it, there were witnesses who promptly called the police. The police station just happened to be located on the very street he was on. They flagged him down as he “fled the scene” past the police station at 25 mph.

A total of five policemen were all over the truck…all over him….some “good cop/bad cop” stuff going on. This altercation lasted an hour and a half. I think in his fear he came across as cocky which probably pissed them off. So finally all but one of them got called away for a burglary. The remaining cop told him the paperwork would be coming in the mail. Well, it came alright. Leaving the scene of an accident…..400 bucks and 4 points on his license. That was bad enough but when it came to light a day or so after we got the ticket that if convicted it is an automatic suspension of his CDL for a year, I was floored. I am truly the Queen of the Worst Case Scenario…..and I cannot even remember all the negative outcomes I have imagined in my mind. We have to fight the ticket, which requires a lawyer, which requires a hefty sum of money with no guarantee of the charges being dropped or reduced enough to salvage his CDL. Job prospects are dim indeed in the area where I live. There are hundreds of other displaced workers (from plant closings, bad economy etc) What gave him an edge was his CDL and Hazmat…..and twenty-five years of experience driving a truck. There are men in our area who work for eight bucks an hour because there is nothing else. I just agreed to start working a reduced schedule at the hospital beginning in August which will cut into the income even further.

And that is where I am today.

So if anyone actually reads this blog…and you feel led to remember me in your prayers or thoughts….I would truly appreciate it. This is testing my theology, my faith, my perspective on life etc. I realize it is small potatoes in a world of big potatoes like hunger and famine and pestilence…..but it is still shaking my world.

Fretting....

Of late, there have been some situations in my life that have taken a distressing turn. I am the Queen of the Worst Case Scenario....so I have been fretting. Perhaps in another post, I will bore you with the details of my dilemma but for now, I want to post an email I wrote to an online friend who is a bit of a worrier himself and was going through some worries with his job situation. I love some of the quotes....and they probably ring true with so many of us because we are all worriers. That is probably why Jesus addressed it as many times as he did. Anyway...following is the email. If anyone is fretting about something today, I hope there is a tidbit of wisdom (none of which I am the actual author of) to lighten the load a bit. Perhaps bring a smile to a worry worn face......

Since I am a worrier, too....I thought the following two quotes were funny....and sort of what I seem to believe even though I know better:

While most of the things you've worried about have never happened, it's a different story with the things you haven't worried about. They are the ones that happen.--Ruth Rendell (Talking to Strange Men)

Don't tell me that worry doesn't do any good. I know better. The things I worry about don't happen.

But on a more serious note, He knows what will happen to you tomorrow..because he is already there and nothing takes him by surprise:


God is down in front. He is in the tomorrows. It is tomorrow that fills men with dread. God is there already. All the tomorrows of our life have to pass Him before they can get to us. Frederick Brotherton ( F. B. ) Meyer

It is in the deepest darkness of the starless midnight that men learn how to hold on to the hidden Hand most tightly and how that Hand holds them; that He sees where we do not, and knows the way He takes; and though the way be to us a roundabout way, it is the right way. Arthur Tappan (A . T ) Pierson

........and most of the things we worry about never happen anyway:

I've lived a long life and seen a lot of hard times.....
Most of which never happened--Mark Twain
Worry often gives a small thing a big shadow. ~Swedish Proverb

Worry never robs tomorrow of its sorrow, it only saps today of its joy. ~Leo Buscaglia

If you spend your whole life waiting for the storm, you'll never enjoy the sunshine. Morris West writer

My life has been full of terrible misfortunes most of which never happened. Michel de Montaigne

He who fears he shall suffer, already suffers what he fears. Inspirational sayings by Montaigne, Essays, 1588

What torments of grief you endured, from evils that never arrived. Ralph Waldo Emerson

If you see ten troubles coming down the road, you can be sure that nine will run into the ditch before they reach you. Calvin Coolidge

And the bad things, the trials, the challenges that happen to us seem to be allowed for a purpose...for our "good" anyway:

You cannot create experience. You must undergo it. Albert Camus "

One sees great things from the valley, only small things from the peak. Gilbert Keith G. K. Chesterton

You will know more of Jesus in one sanctified trial, than in wading through a library of volumes, or listening to a lifetime of sermons. Octavius Winslow

Who then can so softly bind up the wound of another as he who has felt the same wound himself." -- Thomas Jefferson

So we need to just chill out a bit:

I believe God is managing affairs and that He doesn't need any advice from me. With God in charge, I believe everything will work out for the best in the end. So what is there to worry about? Henry Ford

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. [Philippians 4:6, 7]

And remember that God is still on his throne (as he mentioned to annie)and he is still in control and we have to try to trust him, even when he appears to be the cause....

We turn to God for help when our foundations are shaking only to learn that it is God shaking them. --Charles West

Whether we like it or not

C.S. Lewis wrote, We are not necessarily doubting that God will do the best for us; we are wondering how painful the best will turn out to be.

And we should hope for the best:

The well of Providence is deep. It's the buckets we bring to it that are small. Mary Webb writer

But not be too hasty to act.....

Half the worry in the world is caused by people trying to make decisions before they have sufficient knowledge on which to base a decision.--Dean Hawkes

And appreciate the things that help us cope

We experience moments absolutely free from worry. These brief respites are called panic. --Cullen Hightower

Because afterall if we put things in perspective

From heaven even the most miserable life will look like one bad night at an inconvenient hotel. Anonymous


:)

Getting Out of the Slammer

Today, Beth is being released from “prison.” She has been grounded since last Friday, when the final straw broke the camel’s back. In the course of one week, we found out she had been drinking at sleepovers, smoking (again), she failed two classes for the year and then she went somewhere without telling me first. This was after I had specifically and clearly instructed her to “TELL ME BEFORE YOU GO ANYWHERE,” and warned her of the consequences of any more “shenanigans.” When I called her on her cell phone, to her credit she did not lie to me and told me where she was….but her reason for not telling me beforehand, “I didn’t think you’d let me go”. She was basing this on the fact that earlier in the day I did say no to the same location. The River Lot. (Everyone in Williamsport owns a river lot. It is a huge summer pastime here….going to the river lot) The first request was to go “night swimming.” Beth, her 15 year old friend, Abbi, and Abbi’s 17 year old step sister. No adults, just the three of them and perhaps “a few other people”, in the dark, in a woodsy area, in bikinis. Ahhhhhhhh…..that’s a classic no brainer there. Absolutely NOT!!! So when I called Beth (who was supposedly just “hanging out at Abbi’s) on my way home from work….no answer. Called again….no answer. So then I called Abbi’s cell phone. She answered. “Where are you guys?” I asked when Beth came to the phone. “At the River Lot.” Totally different scenario. Daytime. Adult present. I would have given her permission to go. But there was the deception again. So I grounded her for a week.

She is a model prisoner. She does not complain much. She is pleasant. I enjoy having her around. No sullen, angry, belligerent teen. She is nice. She is the girl she might be full time if I could woo her away from her friends who think passing around a bottle of vodka at a sleepover and hard rock bands and the “F” word are cool. In a similar vein to yesterday’s entry….I suppose God looks at me (when I grieve his heart) and sees the person I might be….the person I will be when he is finished with me. Pleasant….not angry….not sullen or belligerent. Nice. If God is not going to give up on me….I’m not giving up on Beth. I love her so much. But today, with great reluctance and trepidation on my part, she is getting “out of the slammer.”

Is His Heart Grieved?

Among the crap that came to light last week, there was a major betrayal by my son. He just completed his junior year and did miserably. He has always been honest and dependable, taking care of his schoolwork, his money and his belongings with little need for parental supervision. Honors classes. His grades have always been good. Attendance good. Never gotten into trouble at school. Now he has a car which he seems to be responsible with and also a part time job, which he does well at. That is why he was able to deceive his dad and me the whole year. If he said it, we believed it (unlike my oldest daughter whose every statement is scrutinized. She has lied to us many times although that does not take the sting away and each lie hurts anew) With my son, in retrospect, there were some warning signs….but when he presented us with a fairly good report card (ala photoshop) I dismissed those signs. I would have bet five thousand dollars he would never do such a thing, especially over the long haul of the whole school year. The fact that the lie went on for three marking periods makes the deception even worse. My heart is grieved.

I can so relate to God’s feelings in Genesis 6:6

And it repented the LORD that he had made man on the earth, and it grieved him at his heart. KJV

The Message Bible says his heart was broken.
The Emphasized Bibles says he took sorrow unto his heart.

I’ve come to the sharp realization that with my shady past, my blunders, my acts of thoughtlessness and deception, I have grieved the heart of God in much the same way that my heart grieves over the actions of my son. In the days of Noah, humanity grieved the heart of God to the point of repentance; to the point he felt it necessary to wipe man from the face of the earth. The NIV renders this verse:

“I will wipe mankind, whom I have created, from the face of the earth—men and animals, and creatures that move along the ground, and birds of the air—for I am grieved that I have made them.”

Some other versions say

“I will destroy man whom I have created from the face of the earth” KJV

“I will blot out man whom I have created from the face of the land” ESV

“I wipe away man whom I have prepared from off the face of the ground” Young’s

In its customary meandering style, the Amplified Bible contains all of the above:
I will destroy, blot out, and wipe away mankind, whom I have created from the face of the ground

As a believer in total reconciliation, I fully believe that the evil ones who so grieved the heart of God in the days of Noah will bow the knee and proclaim Jesus as Lord. The Bible says EVERY knee will bow, EVERY tongue will confess that Jesus Christ is Lord. It proclaims this clearly in three different places in scripture....in both the Old and New Testaments. Everyone who calls upon the name of the Lord will be saved. How many tongues confess? Every tongue. How many will be saved? Everyone. Specific mention of these disobedient ones is made in 1 Peter 3:18-20 which states that Christ as a quickened spirit went and preached to them in “prison”. A more general mention of the gospel being preached to the dead is made in 1 Peter 4:6. I think it is also interesting to note that all the verses specifically say that mankind was removed from the face of the earth. Existence in a spiritual sphere…in whatever dimension lies beyond the “veil” is not ruled out. Death is not the end of God’s dealings with us. And though our actions may grieve his heart, it is not the end of his love for us anymore than it is the end of my love for my kids. In the words of a country song that proclaims the secret of a father’s love, “It’s a love without end. Amen”.

Teenagers and Mimetic Rivalry

This following is a quote from a book about adolescents that annie suggested. It is called, "Parenting Adolescents" by Kevin Huggins.

Although being purposeful is a characteristic people have in common with God, it is important to note that God's plans are always different from people's in one important way: His plans are never blocked. He has sovereign control of everything and needs to depend on no one else to accomplish his purposes. In contrast, all parents and adolescents experience frequent frustration of their plans, because people's plans are characteristically dependent on using others to accomplish their purposes. Parents often have purposes or plans in their hearts that require their adolescents to act or be a certain way for them. Adolescents more times than not have plans in their hearts that won't work unless they can get their parents to respond to them in a certain way. When both approach each other with these kinds of intentions, conflict and resentment are inevitable.

When people have their plans blocked, they will initially respond by strengthening their efforts to make the plans work.

People do not easily give up the plans they have fashioned for themselves. There is something behind these plans that fuels them and makes them in a real sense a matter of life or death to people. In the book of Proverbs that energizing force is referred to as "desires" or "longings"

This excerpt is from one of the introductory chapters of the book. I think it smacks of mimetic rivalry, the "scandal" Girard talks about, thwarted desires, stumbling blocks etc. Girard would take exception with this author concerning the thought that people "fashion for themselves" the plans they have since a foundational belief of his theory is that we "catch" our desires from each other. This author seems to have a grasp on the frustrations of mimetic rivalry. Perhaps that is why adolescence is such a tumultuous time. Parent and child can become embroiled in mimetic rivalry...a cycle where they continue to prevent each other from obtaining the goal/plan. When the teenage years come, with their infamous rebellions etc, the teenager no longer focuses on the parent as the primary model or "near one" and so the desires of parent and teenager may become totally opposite. The parent continues to have the same goals when the adolescent years come, but the teenager may not. They may now be focusing on friends and other influences as the models from which they form their desires. Another name for peer pressure? And thus the clash. Of course, this line of thinking does not take into account the very real love a parent has for their child or the love a child (even a teenager) feels for their parents. It is kind of two dimensional to leave that part out, although I think there is definitely mimesis at play in these relationships. I need to think about this a bit more and try to figure out how this theory affects my own life and my relationship with my teens. All THREE of them!!!! And I thought the toddler years were a challenge.