Somewhere today I came upon a review for the book How Would Love Respond by Kurek Ashley.
I've been thinking about that all day. Things have been pretty bad lately.......with discord in all my relationships, in spite of my best efforts. My daughter looks at me as if I am the enemy...with disdain, with contempt. I heard "those" words out of her last Sunday...the "I hate you" words....seemingly heartfelt and sincere. It felt like a sucker punch. But more gut wrenching is the empty look in her eyes...and the "I don't give a crap" attitude. Sometimes I feel like Beth died and there is an angry, belligerent girl in her place. Where did my baby go? There is turmoil and conflict in so many of my dealings right now. I can't make heads or tails of anything...most of all I can't make heads or tails of what the hell God is doing!!! I knelt by my bed this morning crying, listening to my MP3 player....letting the words to some of my favorite songs speak for me.
And through it all...I keep asking myself "how would love respond?" My friend annie says the answers are within. Her response to my very short and to the point email this morning..."just keep praying....I need a miracle all the way around...." was long and caring, compassionate and understanding. I love annie. A snippet of what she had to say:
I AM in the midst of you will give you what to say, what to do IN THAT HOUR, in that moment. your miracle is in hearing the voice of God saying "this is the way, walk ye in it".
And so I strain my ear to hear...waiting for THAT HOUR. Listening for that voice. All the while asking myself in the course of each and every moment...how would love respond? Do I always hit the mark? Oh my, not by a long shot...but I am trying. Perhaps I will make that my mantra. How would love respond?
And the answer that scripture gives:
"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always preserves."
-- 1 Corinthians 13:4-7