I was pondering all of this the other day. Thinking about how some believe God created us...individual extensions of himself....to experience the material world in a way he could not experience it in the spirit. Sort of living vicariously through us. I've heard Lynn Hiles say that when he dies he can imagine God high fiving him and saying, "Man I had a hoot in your body." So then, if that was the whole purpose in making us...to experience this temporal realm, what's to stop him from sucking us back into himself, obliterating our individual consciousness, personalities etc?
I was thinking of this on my way to the gym last night. Getting a little pissed actually at the selfishness of that plan (if in fact, that was the plan...but becoming more convinced that it was the longer I thought about it)....mind spinning....saying to myself that I wish there was a way to find the truth...and even sort of asking God, in my thoughts to provide an answer. (as in "so what do you have to say for yourself about this?) and like a flash, a thought popped into my head. "Would you do that to your children?" I am always reluctant to say "God spoke to me" but I think he did. The thought did not seem to originate with me.
And when I ponder these (scary) issues and what if's....remembering that God, in scripture, reveals himself as Father (or mother...parent) does help. Of course we do not have the power to obliterate our children...suck them back into ourselves....but would we, even if we could? Don't we celebrate their individuality, the wonder of what our kids are growing into....becoming. The nuances of their characters and personalities? I don't understand how, after we leave these bodies and brains behind...we can think and maintain our individuality. These bodies seem like the containers that keep everything inside/together but perhaps a brain is only necessary while spirit is housed in flesh? Following is a quote I came upon years ago...but never really had the opportunity to use it. Trouble is, I'm not sure if it calms my fears...or gives me more to worry about?
Salt, when dissolved in water, may disappear, but it does not cease to exist. We can be sure of its presence by tasting the water. Likewise, the indwelling Christ, though unseen, will be made evident to others from the love which he imparts to us.
Sadhu Sundar Singh