The Long and Winding Road....

Before we can change anything in our life, we have to recognize that this is the way it is meant to be right now. For me, acceptance has become what I call the long sigh of the soul. It’s the closed eyes in prayer, perhaps even the quiet tears. It’s “all right,” as in “All right, You lead, I’ll follow.” And it’s “all right” as in “Everything is going to turn out all right.” This is simply part of the journey…— Sarah Ban Breathnach

This "journey" I've been on with Beth for the past few years has indeed seemed like a long, winding road.  Several times along the journey, I was sure the rockiest part was behind us...that we had reached the peak and the journey would not continue to be all uphill from there.  Last year at this time, Beth went to Impact with her sister and the youth group.  It was under duress but she went.  And lo and behold, she had an encounter with the Lord.  I think it was a legitimate encounter.

The theme of last year's Impact was "Let It Go"....as in "let go of the pain."  I think I expected an instantaneous healing.  I think she did too.  It didn't happen.  She slipped back into the same old patterns.....with a few rebounds and bright spots along the way.   Then, at the end of last school year, things went exponentially down the crapper.  So, we continue on this journey. 

In a conversation I had with Keith the other day, he mentioned an analogy....the sandpaper that sands the rough edges off the wood, is also changed during the process.  I was on my way out the door to work so we didn't delve into it any deeper than that.    I'm not sure if, in this situation, I am the block of wood or if I am the sandpaper.  Perhaps if he is reading this entry (he occasionally reads here on my blog) he might provide a more thorough explanation of that view in the comments sections??

I am being changed, for sure.....but I don't like it.  Byron Katie, known for "The Work" talks about "loving what is."  Yeah right.  Eckhart Tolle teaches that, when faced with a situation that is intolerable, we have 3 sane options.  We must either totally accept the situation, change it or leave it.  I am teetering somewhere between acceptance and change.  I haven't given up, although I have come to believe that Beth will not necessarily be changed in this lifetime, on this side of the veil.  Leaving is not really an option.  I guess Paul echoes these sentiments (or these sentiments echo Paul....since he was obviously a teacher before Katie or Eckhart)

1 Thes. 5:18 In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you. 

Hmmmm....pretty sure I'm not there yet.  The Beatles song The Long and Winding Road came to mind when I happened upon the quote at the beginning of this post.  Even though I've never particularly liked the song, I find many spiritual meanings hidden in the words.

And it does, indeed, seem like a very long, very winding road.... 

The Long and Winding Road

 

The long and winding road
That leads to your door
Will never disappear
I've seen that road before
It always leads me here
Lead me to your door

The wild and windy night
That the rain washed away
Has left a pool of tears
Crying for the day
Why leave me standing here
Let me know the way

Many times I've been alone
And many times I've cried
Any way you'll never know
The many ways I've tried
But still they lead me back

To the long winding road
You left me standing here
A long long time ago
Don't leave me waiting here
Lead me to your door

But still they lead me back
To the long winding road
You left me standing here
A long long time ago
Don't leave me waiting here
Lead me to your door