And more of my "living at the hospital" saga. Still sucks big time. But we are making progress. Mom had her surgery yesterday. It went well. She is off the ventilator. Very very upsetting to see her last night with the tube stuck down her throat, in a state of near panic. no..not near panic. Sheer panic. It made it worse every time I came near the bed because she was sure I, of all people, would help her and she struggled all the more. Plus...since I have to talk myself out of panicking every time I go to the dentist and he sticks his fingers in my mouth, I can imagine the terror from having something stuck down my throat...gagging me....preventing me from swallowing. Finally they got her off the breathing machine about 5:30 this morning.
She was still confused when I saw her for a few minutes this morning. They are very strict with visiting hours here in the ICU. They weren't always. The new rooms are designed with couches for family members to stay....very spacious. More like a hotel than a hospital room (if you ignore all the built in equipment) But people took huge liberties....10...15 people crowded into the rooms. People brought their little kids...put their toys down on the floor and let them play (under foot of the nursing staff that was trying to do their job and tend to the patients) Mom's nurse told me one big family took over an empty ICU room, ordered pizza and sat around for hours visiting. WTF?
And so, people like me, who would be content to just sit on the couch and stay out of the way...hopefully with the hospital wide guest wifi working properly.... get screwed because some people have no sense...or manners....or whatever.
My mom is not exactly a believer. Now, I am not a Bible beater/evangelizer...dead set on the goal of winning souls for the Lord. I know he is perfectly capable of winning souls without me. If he happens to use me...to plant a seed....to water a seed, that is wonderful. And I hope this blog does give some cause to ponder...and seek the Lord for answers about who he really is..and what his character and nature really are.
But anyway...I had my speech all planned. I was going to tell Mom to remember that God was with her. That he loved her. That he was nothing like the God they taught her about in my grandmother's joyless religion. But they whisked her away so quickly all I got to say was, "I've been praying for you." and "I love you."
This morning, after telling me that she had been worried about me worrying about her...she raised her hand and said, "Thank you God." Then I got to say MY line. "You know he was with you the whole time, don't you." And then she said that she knew Grandma (her mom) and Grandpap (her dad) and my sister (who passed away 10 or so years ago) were all with her. The great cloud of witnesses the Bible talks about.
And the fact is that I feel God all over this hospital. And I haven't even been to the chapel :) I did just this morning notice where it is and will stop in there later today. More on that thought...about God being all over this hospital in my next post.