Thursday, February 10, 2011

At the Butler Hospital – You Are Awesome In This Place…

Written ‘now”
The following post was written during my mom’s hospitalization and surgery to have a faulty, leaky valve replaced.  She has been plagued with complication after complication requiring more and more invasive, painful, frightening procedures.  I was there for the surgery (6 days prior to and 6 days after) but she has gone through the past week alone. Yesterday she had to endure another surgery…with full anesthesia.. to drain fluid and blood from her lungs. It was hard being here while she is there, alone.  They didn’t know the extent…if they would be able to do it through 2 small incisions or if they would have to do the open heart thing again.  Fortunately the least invasive procedure seems to have worked and she is doing well.  Thank goodness. I am weary for this to end.  And she probably feels like she is lost in some macabre nightmare.
I still believe what I wrote in the following post.  That God is there…that he is in fact…everywhere.  The other day my daughter Emily posted the following “verse” on her FB wall….
"You were made with a purpose. The God of this universe will hold your hand through everyday of your life, for every laugh and every moment that takes your breath away. For the moments, the phone calls, and the news that make your heart drop and turn your world upside down. Yeah, my God is big enough for those moments as well."
I googled it…thinking it must be scripture from The Message Bible or lyrics to a song…but I couldn’t find it.  When I asked her about it later she said it was from one of her old journals. She wrote it.  She is indeed one of the living epistles the Bible speaks of. 
My post follows…but really…how can I improve on the sentiments expressed by my 17 year old daughter? 
Written “then”
I feel God all over the place in this hospital. Perhaps because I am not in patient care areas in the hospital where I work, I don’t notice it as much.  Perhaps it is because I am out of my normal, usual surroundings here (and very, very homesick) Maybe I am more attuned/ receptive to spiritual things here than at home… figuring out when to go to the grocery store....and the timing of other mundane tasks. Time has lost its meaning this past week.  Almost like it has been suspended.  I'm in a time warp.  A bubble...
Perhaps that is why I notice that the air here is heavy with His presence.  Almost tangible. 
Here in this hospital, the family of heart surgery patients wait in the ICU Waiting Room.  On the day of my mom’s surgery, I was there early...long before regular visiting hours began.  The solitude in the room was interrupted when, one by one, members of a big family started to arrive.  They were distraught.  Some of them were crying. Some of them were hugging.  One woman started to sob.  Let's face it....the waiting room in ICU is often not a very happy place. 
A woman who was part of the group struck up a conversation with me by the coffee pots.  She was here from Florida.  Her best friend was the ICU patient.  She came to say goodbye to her friend.  That morning they were removing life support.  She told me her friend and her family were all believers.  Strong believers.  Later, I heard them say that one by one they went in and said their goodbyes.  Then they all gathered in the room to be with her when she died.  Very sad.  Yet, I felt Him there with that family. 
I feel Him now...sitting in the lobby waiting for ICU visiting hours.  He permeates this place.
A song has stuck in my head for the past few weeks.  I listened to it a couple of times this morning....sitting here typing on my mini dell.  And it occurs to me that it is true.  No matter what place we find ourselves in....He is there.  And He is Awesome.  And He is “big enough.” Video follows....

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