The next four or five posts…that I’m going to post over the next few days….were written last week…and the week before. During the two weeks I spent with my mom…mostly at the Butler Hospital. She had open heart surgery…a worn out, leaky valve was replaced. I was there pre/ during / and post op….at times so very homesick…weary, frightened, frustrated. Pick an emotion and I’m pretty sure I experienced it during the two weeks. It was a roller coaster kind of thing for me…and obviously for her. She is doing very well. I’m glad I was there for her. Post follows:
The last few days have sucked big time. I've spent them hanging out in the hospital with my mom....while the medical staff dinks around trying to figure out if, whether and when she needs valve replacement surgery. Seriously I have been away from home and work for a week and have really not accomplished anything other than sitting with her (which I realize is a worthwhile endeavor) but I am frustrated because I know that AFTER the surgery is when she will need me most.
As is often the case, the best laid plans have been shot to hell by actual events. This was supposed to be pacemaker surgery. They thought that a pacemaker/defib would fix what ails her. Come to find out that it is valve surgery that will fix the problem....not a defib. But we have been waiting to find out when the surgery will be. If she has to stay in the hospital till then...if she is able to go home in between etc. etc. I've been staying in touch with work...but as soon as I update them, damn if things do not totally change. Right now I am waiting for physical therapy to come and evaluate her for discharge. We are hoping they decide she should stay in the hospital until the surgery next week. Either way, I am probably going home...working tomorrow...perhaps a bit on the weekend ....and waiting to hear when I need to come back for the surgery.
And the dinking around continues....
But anyway...last night, on my 40 minute drive back to her apartment (where I’ve been staying during my “vacation”) ...I was listening to a Christian station on the radio. A status quo Christian channel. But there was an interesting sermon...that introduced me to a new word. Reciprocity. Cool word. I may have seen it in print but had never heard it pronounced.
The preacher talked about how when we sow, we expect to reap immediately. He compared it to farming. You don't plant the seed and expect results the next day. Sometimes in life that's exactly what we expect. Sometimes we reap what we've sown fairly quickly. Others times...not so much.
Law of reciprocity...sowing and reaping....karma....cause and effect. An interesting concept. And indeed...sometimes it does seem to take a long time for all the chips to fall where they may....and then there is always grace that enters into the equation.
Following are a few quotes I found on sowing and reaping….
Men are not punished for their sins, but by them. ~Elbert Hubbard
Every action of our lives touches on some chord that will vibrate in eternity. ~Edwin Hubbel Chapin
The liar's punishment is not in the least that he is not believed, but that he cannot believe anyone else. George Bernard Shaw
"The game of life is the game of boomerangs. Our thoughts, deeds and words return to us sooner or later, with astounding accuracy."
"Just as there is no loss of basic energy in the universe,
so no thought or action is without its effects,
present or ultimate, seen or unseen, felt or unfelt."
Tsze-Kung asked, "Is there one word which may serve as a rule of practice for all one's life?" The Master said, "Is not Reciprocity such a word? What you do not want done to yourself, do not do to others. ~ Confucius
You cannot do wrong without suffering wrong. Ralph Waldo Emerson
"If you waste your youth, no repentance will send the shadow back upon the dial, or recover the ground lost by idleness,or restore the constitution shattered by dissipation, or give back
the resources wasted upon vice, or bring back the fleeting
opportunities. The wounds can all be healed, for the Good Physician,blessed be His name! has lancets and bandages, and balm and anodynes for the deadliest; but scars remain even when the gash is closed." Alexander Maclaren
"John," said a father to his son, "I wish you would get me the hammer."
"Now a nail and a piece of pine board."
"Here they are, sir."
"Will you drive the nail into the board?"
It was done.
"Please pull it out again."
"That's easy, sir."
"Now, John," and the father's voice dropped to a lower key, "pull out the nail hole."
Every wrong act leaves a scar. Even if the board be a living tree the scar remains. Dwight Moody – Sowing and Reaping