Favoritism

A parenting class recently started up when First Night (the Wednesday night program at our church) began a few weeks ago. It is called Parenting Your Teenager by Les and Leslie Parrott. It is a class for mothers of teens. I am sorely in need of some guidance about parenting teens. It is written from a Christian perspective...and is not simply a list of dos and don'ts . There is an emphasis on relying on God to mend and restore, to guide and instruct, to comfort and heal our broken, troubled relationships. It is not something you would find in Good Housekeeping or Woman's Day since it does not take a secular slant to things.

The first weeks lesson was a video with comments from real life teens and their real life parents. It was not fluff. It dealt with really, really difficult situations that included drug abuse, blended families etc. etc. Last week...the discussion centered around some examples of dysfunctional families in the Bible.

The story starts with Isaac and Esau.

Genesis 25:24So when her days were fulfilled for her to give birth, indeed there were twins in her womb. 25And the first came out red. He was like a hairy garment all over; so they called his name Esau. 26Afterward his brother came out, and his hand took hold of Esau's heel; so his name was called Jacob. Isaac was sixty years old when she bore them. 27So the boys grew. And Esau was a skillful hunter, a man of the field; but Jacob was a mild man, dwelling in tents. 28And Isaac loved Esau because he ate of his game, but Rebekah loved Jacob. KJV

Aaaahaaaaaa!!! There you have it....Isaac loved Esau but Rebekah loved Jacob. Think there was some favoritism going on in that house? Down to the point where there was the scheme to convince Esau to give up his birthright and to trick Abraham into giving Jacob his blessing. Perhaps it was from these sorry examples that Jacob learned his parenting skills?

Genesis 37:2 This is the account of Jacob. Joseph, a young man of seventeen, was tending the flocks with his brothers, the sons of Bilhah and the sons of Zilpah, his father's wives, and he brought their father a bad report about them. 3 Now Israel loved Joseph more than any of his other sons, because he had been born to him in his old age; and he made a richly ornamented robe for him. 4.When his brothers saw that their father loved him more than any of them, they hated him and could not speak a kind word to him. NIV

Now Israel loved Joseph more than any of his other sons....and obviously he did not keep it a secret because "they saw their father loved him more and they hated him for it." And to add insult to injury, Jacob sent Joseph back to continue to keep an eye on them...with the directive to report back to him.

14And he said to him, Go now, see whether it is well with thy brethren, and well with the flock; and bring me word again. So he sent him out of the vale of Hebron, and he came to Shechem.

Well...we know what happens on that trip. Joseph finds himself in a pit....at the hands of his brothers. This is a great example of Girard's theory of mimetic rivalry which is probably the real root of the evil of sibling rivalry. So obviously Jacob played favorites. It clearly states that he loved Joseph more than all the others. I am sure the others were not oblivious to this and that it was a major factor in their scheme to murder "the dreamer."

We also talked about King David and the absolute mess he made with his children. Amnon raped Tamar. Absolam killed Amnon. But all was not lost because eventually David seemed to get his shit together with Solomon. I know the Bible is not something that can be read only in the natural and that everything has spiritual implications yet, there is definitely the natural element as well. Sort of gives a new insight into the thought about the sins of the father.......