Compassion - Loving Detachment? Part 2

So...can loving detachment really be a component of compassion? That doesn't seem quite right but at the same time, might detachment allow for a clearer head and more decisive actions? On the message board I mentioned in my last post, they sometimes urge an overly distraught parent to detach. Try to think of your GFG as someone else's child. Let go of the "oh my god" fear that they will end up in prison or dead from an overdose. Try to let go of the outrage, the "how dare you behave this way after all I've done for you/given up for you/how much I've loved you" attitude. Treat them with respect, kindness, patience, understanding, empathy...the way you might treat a foster child entrusted to your care. Detach. Try not to let your happiness, your well being, your reason for living revolve only around your child. Detach. Nearly impossible when you love them enough to literally die in their place. Nearly impossible when they are in pain and nothing seems to help.

Jesus was able to detach. I was thinking of the rich young ruler who came to Jesus for the key to eternal life. Jesus told him:

Don't murder, don't commit adultery, don't steal, don't lie, don't cheat, honor your father and mother."

To which he replied...I have done these things!! Since my youth!

Jesus' reaction, as translated in The Message Bible:

Jesus looked him hard in the eye--and loved him! He said, "There's one thing left: Go sell whatever you own and give it to the poor. All your wealth will then be heavenly wealth. And come follow me.

The rich young ruler was not too keen on this stipulation and he went away with a heavy heart. And Jesus, loving him, let him go. Loving detachment.

And what about the Prodigal Son. The father let his son go off to a faraway land to spend his inheritance. Now there was some serious loving detachment going on there. But in the long run, it was the most loving thing to do.

On an out of the way website, I found the following definition for compassion:

Compassion - Understanding without judgment.

"Without judgment" is the hard part. And sometimes, the compassion Jesus displays is far from detached. He weeps. A wonderful article called Suffering and the Silence of God on The Rebel God web site describes the scene at the tomb of Lazarus:

When Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who had come along with her also weeping, he was deeply moved in spirit and troubled.

The Greek word translated in the English as "deeply moved" means to make the snorting noise of a horse. In other words he was so overwhelmed with the sorrow that it literally knocked the wind out of him. It was the kind of pain where you can't catch your breath.

This all culminates in what Jesus does next: two powerful words:

Jesus wept.

I visited the message board this morning before I posted this. Unbelievable circumstances and degrees of mental illness these parents, mostly moms, are living with....dealing with. Compassion abounds on the board. Sometimes loving detachment. More often, though, the gut wrenching "can't catch your breath" pain only a parent of a GFG can fathom.