Thursday, February 18, 2010

"He That Pisseth Against a Wall...."

I followed a link this morning to a total joke of a sermon...that is, sadly, not meant to be a joke. It is not a parody. Using the 6 verses in the Bible that refer to a man as one who "pisseth against a wall," this Baptist preacher goes on and on about what it means to be a "man." The problem with this country is that too many men don't pee standing up like men are supposed to. You know...those translators of the NIV, the New King James...those guys who take out words like hell and judgement etc....well, they all pee sitting down.  Nobody wants to hear the word of God anymore.  It's not, real men don't eat quiche, anymore.  It's not even Real Men Don't Apologize anymore.  (compliments of Jim Belushi) No...the real truth...the Biblical truth is that a real man does not pee sitting down.  He "pisseth against a wall" or in other words, he pees standing up. 

Nevermind that these verses in the Bible talk about killing these guys...as in

1 Kings 16:11  And it came to pass, when he began to reign, as soon as he sat on his throne, [that] he slew all the house of Baasha: he left him not one that pisseth against a wall, neither of his kinsfolks, nor of his friends.

and

1 Samuel 25:22 So and more also do God unto the enemies of David, if I leave of all that [pertain] to him by the morning light any that pisseth against the wall.

as those sissies at the NIV say:

May God deal with David,* be it ever so severely, if by morning I leave alive one male of all who belong to him!”

It seems these macho guys all end up dead...which brings to mind the verse that declares "those who live by the sword, die by the sword."  That thought would require a whole other post to muse about. 

So anyway...below is the video.  It is less than 5 minutes long. 

And for a more secular, quite humorous look at this issue check THIS out

And tomorrow...another joke of a sermon from You Tube.  Again not parody...proving once more that truth is stranger than fiction. 

5 comments:

Kansas Bob said...

What a sad excuse for a sermon.. and an even sadder definition of what it means to be a man.

Cindi said...

Yep, pretty pathetic. I listened to a few related sermons on You Tube that were equally pathetic. In fact, I am writing about one of them tomorrow. "Get the hell out of my church" thus saith the meanspirited Baptist preacher.

Cindi....

Jack Hennessey said...

Couldn't make it to the wall. I was laughing so hard I pissed in my pants.

Cindi said...

LOL, Jack....
You made me bust out laughing first thing this morning. Your comment was the first thing I read. All comments show up in my inbox. Yours was the first email I read. Indeed...truth is more hilarious than parody. As Bob pointed out though..it is a sad state of affairs when this stuff is declared from a pulpit.

Cindi....

JACK HENNESSEY said...

Cindi, I actually posted that video on my blog with two captions. Please note I have a dear friend and reader that lives in Germany. The two captions were:

"This guy's poor wife has no life. All she does, is follow him around the house cleaning the walls."


HE'S COMING TO GERMANY AND HE IS GOING TO STAND UP !


lol