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I have been spending some time checking out blogs the past few weekends. I signed up for an account on bloglines a while back and have been adding to a long list of blogs that pique my interest. I like the playlist feature on bloglines...and have no idea if there is anything like that on other the other readers since bloglines is the only one I've tried. But anyway...I've come across some really interesting blogs. Today I was adding to my "Skeptics" category and came across a blog called Mom's a Religious Nut and Dad's an Atheist. It made me think of my own mom. She was not the religious nut...but rather the one marred by fundamentalist parents. To this day she is pissed off at church people, at religion, at God. She is 72 years old.
Some of her issues are the standard complaints lodged against God. Why is there evil in the world? Why doesn't he take care of the creation he made? Why do fingernails grow back but not teeth? Yet, I find the God she rejects...and the God the author of the blog rejects is not really God at all. It is what they have been told about him, what they've seen reflected in his followers, what tradition taught them. Their image of him bears little resemblance to who he really is.
4 comments:
Hello, I guess I am the one you referred to as "marred", and am the owner of the blog you mentioned above.
It's interesting to see how someone else sees me. Of course, I have to disagree if you are saying that I am like your mother. I don't think I "am pissed off at church people, at religion, at God." I was. I'll admit to that. But, that anger subsided, and was replaced by a true desire to understand... to learn... to believe.
Guess what? I don't get it. I don't understand it at all. The more I tried to believe, the more I could not. Not because I am angry or full of hate. I am so over that. I am full of forgiveness and the most at peace I've evern been with my mother and all of it.
No, I couldn't believe because I could find no valid reason to believe. None. None of it makes sense. So, no.. I don't see "God" the same way you do... but, not for lack of trying... and not because I "hate him". ? I can't hate something I don't even believe in.
Anyway - thanks for the mention, and I hope you work things out with your own mother and can see past the religious BS enough to get to the woman she is.
~samanthamj
(www.savemenot.wordpress.com)
samanthamj said:
Hello, I guess I am the one you referred to as "marred", and am the owner of the blog you mentioned above.
Cindi replies...
Although I think if you re-read the original post you will see that MY MOM is the one who I refered to as marred...not you...although I can see how you might think I implied that you are marred as well. Truly, though...aren't we all marred by our past? I know I am...and if I recall, in many of your posts you are very candid about being negatively influenced by your mom's Christianity. I guess that was the comparison I meant to draw between you and my mom. I did not use marred as a dig...or an insult. here is a copy and paste of that part of the original post....
"It made me think of my own mom. She was not the religious nut...but rather the one marred by fundamentalist parents."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
samantha went on to say:
It's interesting to see how someone else sees me. Of course, I have to disagree if you are saying that I am like your mother. I don't think I "am pissed off at church people, at religion, at God." I was. I'll admit to that. But, that anger subsided, and was replaced by a true desire to understand... to learn... to believe.
Cindi says:
Perhaps I read some of your older posts that sounded angrier...less resolved. I think I clicked on the tags of things that interested me after reading a few of your recent posts. You may not be pissed off at church people...at relition or at God...but I can assure you that my mom definitely is.
samantha said:
Guess what? I don't get it. I don't understand it at all. The more I tried to believe, the more I could not. Not because I am angry or full of hate. I am so over that. I am full of forgiveness and the most at peace I've evern been with my mother and all of it.
No, I couldn't believe because I could find no valid reason to believe. None. None of it makes sense. So, no.. I don't see "God" the same way you do... but, not for lack of trying... and not because I "hate him". ? I can't hate something I don't even believe in.
Cindi says:
I was an atheist most of my life. I should qualify that by saying that I had the tiniest itty bitty bit of hope that there might be a God...but it was minuscule. I was forty when I had a real encounter with God. My grandparents had mellowed quite a bit when I came along. I'm told they wanted no part of me when I was born...about 6 months after my parents married...gasp...but I won them over with my chubby cheeks and curly red hair. They were very good to me. I was not a victim of their religion like my mom was...but truly...most of it made absolutely no sense to me. It continued to make no sense to me for most of my life. I thought religion was for weak people who could not face their own mortality. My ex husband was an atheist as well. Then I had three kids...bang, bang, bang...and for some reason we decided to take them to church. I wanted them to have an opportunity to learn about this God I was 99.9% positive did not even exist....just in case and so that when they got older they could choose for themselves.
The story is too long to go into in detail in the comments section...but I will just say that because of some of the people I met in the church and the old Texas pastor who I adored, I was at about a 80% level of disbelief. Sometimes I would entertain the "what if" thought in my mind....but dismiss it as too far fetched to be true. Then a full blown medical crisis hit my husband. That too is too long to go into in any detail...other than to say that it was scary indeed and still my prayers (hey, I was desperate with three little kids) seemed to stop at the ceiling. Strange coincidences...really, really weird coincidences began to happen...then...after a routine catherization gone awry...after hours of trying to get his heart to beat right I prayed...and for the first time in my life it felt like the prayer was heard...and then, in a moment...literally seconds, his heart rhythm normalized and (believe me, I know how hokey this will sound to a nonbeliever) it was as if God tapped me on the shoulder and said, "See, I really am here" And I was convinced. Totally convinced. I like to think that there was something of his essence deposited in my heart at his "touch" some knowledge...some inner knowing because none of the standard Christian party line explanations made any sense to me still. I have been in question mode from the start...and the more I know him the more I am convinced that most Christians have only scratched the surface of who he is and are spoon fed their doctrines by those in charge. Most Christians do not think for themselves...do not seek him for the answers to all those discrepancies and inconsistencies and downright atrocious things attributed to our heavenly father who is light and love and in whom there is no darkness at all. Hell?? Come on...would a God of love device a place of eternal torment and keep his children alive, the very ones he created from the essence of himself, to torture them throughout eternity. That is, quite simply, nonsense. Did our heavenly father, who declared "I desire mercy and not sacrifice" really insist on his pound of flesh before he could forgive us...and so he crucified his own son...because he had to see the spilled blood of Jesus in order to tolerate us...sinful creatures that we are...worms unworthy of anything other than the hellfire I just mentioned...which does not even exist. Mainstream Christianity is severely screwed up.
As far as my mom...my relationship with her is not strained and I do see her for the person she is. There is no religious BS standing between us. She has scars from her childhood that make relating to her difficult sometimes and there is some definite mental illness going on there as well....but I love her dearly. As for my kids, I have one daughter who is "saved" and involved in the church. My son wants no part of going to church and has serious doubts about God...but he is a good kid and for the most part conducts his life with integrity and stays out of trouble. My other daughter...oh boy. She is definitely not a good little church girl. She has brought so much grief on herself. I am remarried to a Christian who also believes that all will be saved...but he and I differ on some of the specifics. He is the classic conservative...and me....well in many ways I am the liberal.
I just want to end this by saying I think your blog is great. It held my interest for a long time. You are a talented writer. I am glad you are doing so well...have such a good relationship with your daughter (?)and have a happy marriage. That honors God in so many ways...whether you believe he exists or not. Again, I did not mean to imply in any way that you were damaged goods etc. I am wondering if you read anything other than the post that pertained to you? I do not espouse the standard Christian party line...that's for sure....and have felt the heat of mainstream Christians because of it...
Cindi.....
Hey...
Thank you for the very thoughtful reply. I'm sorry if I misunderstood what you meant... and I appreciate your taking the time to try to explain so much and the nice comments about my blog, etc. I suppose, I do have some pretty bad memories and opionions from my "church" days. All valid, I think. LOL
I am now 41. Seems we did things backwards from each other. I was raised very religious, and slowly backed out of it, until I finally realized I didn't believe at all. While you, were not into it, and slowly were drawn in until you suddenly were in wholeheartedly. I have a few friends who seemed to do the same thing... (were never "church-goers" until they had kids).
I have 2 sons, and have been married for 18 years now... (together for 23). So, I can't complain.
I was a bit relieved to hear you say "Mainstream Christianity is severely screwed up". At last, we can agree on something. ;) And refreshed to hear you reject ideas of "hell" and the likes.
I was a little confused again when you talked about some of your kids being "saved" and some not. To me, that is what "being saved" means.... "being saved from hell". So, if you don't believe God would do that... then, I am not sure where "being saved" comes in.
I guess, that is a huge part of my problem with religion, god, the bible... etc. I don't understand how it is possible to believe in parts... but, not all of if. So, eventually, when I rejected such key "parts" of it, I felt the rest go with it.
Anyway - I want to agin thank you... and, wish you well. You seem like a nice person.
~smj
I'm glad you got my reply...I was wondering if you would. When I said my daughter is saved, I guess what I meant was that she is a believer now. My other two kids are not....perhaps they might best be described as agnostic. When we moved here from Nashville, I was in the middle of a divorce and there was really not a church where I felt we fit in so we stopped going for about four years. Sporadically I read the Bible with the kids....or we prayed together...or we talked about God and faith etc. but before I knew it they were teenagers...and my son has no interest in going to church at all....and my oldest daughter is somewhat involved with the youth group by her own choice. My youngest daughter is the reason we went back to church. On her own, she started to get involved with the youth group at a United Methodist church...and I started to go with her on the weekends they are with me. I am not overly involved with the church....but she is very involved. Bible study, participation on Christian message boards and elists is my passion....but I am not a regular church goer. I don't think you have to be to be a Christian. Actually I met my husband on a Christian message board...a theology type board not a matchmaker site. Neither of us were looking....surprise. He is Canadian and we had to do the whole immigration thing.
As far as ditching parts of the Bible...there is a good case that can be made biblically for the belief that all will be saved. Words like eternal and everlasting really don't mean forever and ever in the original languages the Bible was written in. ( I am referring to the Hebrew and Greek manuscripts which were translated into English...in some cases erroneously) You've probably heard it said that Jesus spoke more of hell than he did of heaven...but that is not true either. Many of the warnings about eternal torment attributed to Jesus were warnings to the Pharisees and Saducees of his day. (and he even clearly said "this generation shall not pass away before all these things shall be fulfilled") It really cannot be explained in the scope of a comment. As far as the atonement, there are ways to interpret the scriptures about the death of Jesus other than the guilt trip they usually lay on us....or as the only way to appease God's sense of violated justice. Again, more than can be discussed in the scope of the comments section. Thanks for your reply...blessings to you Samantha.....
Cindi......
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