Thursday, January 22, 2009

Do You Hear What I Hear? Close, Active Listening...

In Neale Walsch's book, The Holy Experience, he talks about listening...about what he calls Active Listening. It is a listening beyond hearing the words. It is a listening that tears down the separation between us and fosters the concept of "oneness." I've posted some practical aspects of listening of late...this is more of a spiritual kind of listening that depends on intuition and emotions.

The excerpt from Walsch's book:

The next time you are with someone, try to gauge what they are feeling. Don’t just listen to their words, look deep inside to see if you can get a handle on what they are feeling. Read between the lines. Look past the words. Practice what I call Active Listening.

This is a form of listening in which you tune into the communication of the Soul rather than of the Mind of the person before you. Feelings are the language of the soul. This is not a language that it is impossible for you to understand. In fact, just the opposite. You can often understand a person’s feelings a lot faster than you can understand their words.

Think of how many times you have listened to a person who is distraught or frightened or very sad or deeply disappointed. Often, their words come out in jumbles, and make no sense at all. You may even have caught yourself saying, “You’re not even making sense.” You might even have used this as a defense during some verbal exchange.

A person who listens to words rather than feelings often will throw another’s words back in their face, reciting what they’ve just said word for word in order to show them that they are making no sense at all. Right about then is when the other person will say, “Can you hear anything at all about how I am FEELING?”

Right about then is when you know that you have been listening to that person’s Mind, and have made a decision to have nothing at all to do with their Soul. If that other person thinks that he or she is your “soul
partner,” this can be a devastating experience. They will wonder why you cannot hear them at the level of soul, but insist only on taking their words apart, one by one, and analyzing them to show them how silly they are being.

A few experiences such as this can change a relationship forever. Someone who was once very close to you can decide that it is not safe to remain that close—that perhaps they were never that close—because you have no idea at all of how they are feeling.

The fastest way to let someone know that you and they are One is to feed back to them exactly what they are feeling. This means giving up defense in all verbal exchanges—even arguments—and realizing that, if the two of you are One, there is no one to defend against. There is only to understand what the Totality called the Oneness of You is now experiencing. This means honestly looking at your own feelings and opening to the feelings of others.

I know I have been on both the sides of this fence...as the one not really hearing and as the one not being heard. Once is while, I think I get it right.

2 comments:

Tyler Dawn said...

Wow, this really ties in with what I have been hearing lately about the evils of saying "How are you?" and then walking away, or worse, showing them you don't care if they have the audacity to answer with anything other than "fine."

People need to know that someone sees them as a real human being and not just a cardboard cutout to walk past.

Why don't we care enough to do that simple, and yet profound, thing? We hurt, and yet are forced to keep it a scret!

Bopped over from Aussie Sue's blog :D

Cindi said...

Tyler Dawn...
Thanks for stopping by. I think sometimes people are not being cruel but they are so caught up in their own problems and thoughts. But you are right...usually when someone asks, "how are you?" they really don't want to know if they answer is anything other than "fine." Thanks for stopping by. Please come again...and comments are always welcome.

Cindi.....