Saturday, May 30, 2009

What's Left?

There really is just too much to think about and ponder…geeez….

Sometimes I grow weary of pondering. Enough already!!! Let me think about something else for a change…okay, God?

Well, I have to admit that the other day when Keith and I went to see Terminator/Salvation” I was really into the movie…thought of little else. It had me on the edge of my seat…kind of living vicariously through the characters on the screen. Keith will sometimes remind me, "It's just a movie...those are just actors" Even though I am not much of an action movie fan, I got hooked on the Terminator series way back when I watched the first one, when Sarah Conner was just an innocent little thing. Same with the Matrix.

But for the most part, I am pondering this spiritual stuff until my head hurts!!! Maybe too much….but I don’t seem to have a choice but to ponder.

On EU they are discussing something I really do not like to think about. It actually scares the crap out of me. They are discussing who/what we aren’t…and when we figure out what we aren’t…well, then….what’s left? Is there a me? An “I”?? Is Cindi a figment of my egos imagination?

In times past, that was the bone I had to pick with Preston Eby. His writings seemed to declare that God was trying to kill off Cindi…get rid of her…nasty fleshly thing that she is. And my fear then is my fear now. What’s left?

Brian from The Beautiful Heresy blog posted about a book he is reading s "No Death, No Fear” written by Thich Nhat Hanh'.  He shared some of his thoughts about parts of the book.

There is a bunch of "I am not" thinking that frankly leaves me wondering what I am.  I am not my body (cool).  I am not my mind.  I am not my thoughts.  I am not my emotions.

Annie said the following:

ego wants to survive at all costs.  i actually do believe that something of our personality is retained in whatever the next realm is, only because i believe God takes such delight in the individual facets of himself that he has fashioned.

Yes…I like that…retaining my individual facets somehow comingled with the whole. Otherwise what is the use? What is the purpose? It seems almost a cruel joke on God’s part to suck us back into some big God blob. To me it is the same as death. 

Brian sums it up by saying:

 But, as far as being "comforted" that I am not annihilated because I never really was a "self", I don't really find that any more comforting than I was born and I die and I am no more.

Yep….the God blob view is way too close to the “Life’s a bitch and then you die” school of thought.

More to come....

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